NO PANTIES

Struts into the room

Huffin' and a puffin' on her four inch heels

Sits right down and says

"Man, give me a beer

I'm a German hairless model now baby

If you think that's weird

Wait till you get a load of this my dear"

"Hmmmmmm" says I says me to myself

As I try to absorb

These words she's telling me

Good lordy lordy lord!

I might be thick but I got a gold Mastercard

So what's that thing that's makin' this thing so hard

"Ain't got no panties on", that's what she told me

"Ain't got no panties on, please daddy don't scold me"

"Ain't got no panties on, I just want you to roll me"

"Even if I did I wouldn’t wash 'em just for you"

We grab a cab, roll on down to her place

She's got birds, iguanas, she got cats all over the place

Then a mink named Mighty bit me on the toe

Then the girl said "I christen you Joe from Kokomo"

"Ain't got no panties on", that's what she told me

"Ain't got no panties on, daddy please don't scold me"

"Ain't got no panties on I just want you to roll me"

We've come this far I guess we better get it on

William Tell overture

Instrumental

Six am stumble and bumble, here we go again

Where's my shoes, where's my pants, where's my brain

All I wanna do is get this skanky ass home again

But those five sweet words keep rolling again in my brain

"Ain't got no panties on", that's what she told me

"Ain't got no panties on, please daddy don't scold me"

"Ain't got no panties on, I just want you to roll me"

"Even if I did I wouldn’t bless 'em just for you"

"Even if I did I might mess 'em just for you"

Instrumental

"Even if I did I wouldn’t bless 'em just for you"

"Even if I did I might mess 'em just for you"

Take out the trash